


Downtime

by Angylsmuse, Rina9294



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:38:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9574193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angylsmuse/pseuds/Angylsmuse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: Rodney's exhausted and Radek's concussed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Czech to English translations are found at the end.  
> Originally posted December 2005.

"Rodney, you really should go to bed." Radek Zelenka frowned as he studied Atlantis’ senior scientist, who looked as if he was ready to drop from exhaustion. "The city is safe; there is nothing more we can do right now."

"And how long will I be left there? As it was, I was woken up the last time I tried to get to sleep," Rodney McKay snarled with none of his usual snark as he tiredly rubbed his eyes. "Seriously, though, I don’t know if I _can_ sleep; my system is still swimming with stimulants."

"At least you can try." Radek reached up to gingerly prod at the darkening bruise around his eye. "According to Carson, I am not allowed to do so for twelve hours."

"Well, that sucks. You need it almost as much as I do. The scientists save the day again, running on nerves, adrenaline and the sheer power of our rather superior intellects, as per the norm, and we’re left to fend for ourselves when all is said and done," Rodney groused. "Although, to be fair, Beckett and the medical staff are too run off their feet with wounded to deal with the nominally injured, like you, or the exhausted, like both of us. However, you’ll need someone to keep you awake, so I don’t sleep until you do."

Radek shook his head and pushed his glasses up his nose when they slipped down. "No, is no need; I am going to the mess hall. There will be others there."

"Oh, yes, and the scintillating conversation will be sure to keep you awake and alert," Rodney replied with a shake of his head. "No doubt there will be a legion of soldiers who will be happy to enlighten you as to their latest conquest or which of our female residents has the ‘biggest rack’. How thrilling."

"They only speak of those they have no chance with."

"Pretty much everyone and everything on Atlantis other than their left or right hand, in other words," Rodney smirked. "Which leads me back to our original conversation. I’m keeping you company."

"In the mess hall?" Radek asked acerbically. "You should go lie down, Rodney; you’re more tired than I."

"Then you can come to my room with me and make sure I go to sleep," Rodney replied, confident in his ability to remain awake long enough to make sure his second in command stayed awake for the allotted time.

Sheppard had, well, used to have, Ford, and he had Radek. It was his responsibility as head of the science department to watch out for his people, after all. Not that he’d ever tell any of them that he felt that way. After all, he had to maintain his reign of terror to keep the monkeys in line and out of trouble.

Radek sighed, knowing nothing would change Rodney’s mind once he’d made it up. "Fine, I will come, and we will play chess until you concede that I am the better player, and then you shall go to sleep, _ano_?"

"You, better? Ha!" Rodney snorted as he got to his feet, exhaustion causing him to sway drunkenly for a moment. "We both know I’m the better strategist. I’ve just been humoring you."

"Of course, Rodney, you are right as always," Radek muttered, sliding an arm around the taller man’s waist to keep him on his feet.

"Of course, I’m always right; I am a genius, after all," Rodney boasted, wrapping his own arm around Zelenka’s waist. "I’m so glad that you’ve finally realized why I am the team lead and your superior!"

Radek muttered a series of curses and considered just dropping Rodney there on the floor. "I believe you are hallucinating, Rodney."

"Nonsense, I’m perfectly lucid; you’re the one with the concussion, not me. I made complete sense." Heading down the corridor towards the living area, Rodney leaned over and whispered in Radek’s ear. "But you’re just as smart as me; you just don’t have the gene, that’s all. And you’re definitely smarter than Kavanagh, that imbecilic moron."

"Hmm, I am not sure that is much of a compliment," Radek murmured, blue eyes narrowing behind his glasses. "And if Carson adjusts his gene therapy, perhaps I too shall have the gene, and we will see who is truly superior."

"Me," Rodney chirped, "definitely me!" Not willing to admit that the lack of sleep and appalling lack of food had him thinking with the same lack of intellect as about 90 percent of the current population of Atlantis, he managed to focus long enough to get the city to open his door, just to show off for Zelenka. "See? Told ya!"

Eyeing Rodney warily, Radek stepped away from him and grabbed a power bar from the desk just inside the door. "Here. Eat. You are delusional."

"No, I’m not," he denied but nonetheless stripped the bar with alacrity and took a huge bite. Waving with the gnawed bar towards a black lacquer box with mother of pearl and cloisonne inlay, he motioned at Radek. "Mwa tet ith in t’ox," he mumbled with a full mouth.

It took Radek a moment to puzzle the statement out; then he nodded and opened the box so that he could take the chess set out. "Would you prefer white or black?" he asked, looking around for a place to set up the game.

Swallowing hard, Rodney moved over to a small unit and took out two glasses and bottle of Crown Royal Special Reserve. It wasn’t as good as Glenfiddich, but it was pretty damned good whiskey nonetheless.

"Black," he said offhandedly as he straddled a chair backwards on the other side of the table, setting the bottle and glasses down. "One of the personal items I brought with me," he said by way of explanation as he poured two shots, handing one to Radek.

"Not for me," Radek said, shaking his head and looking regretfully at the liquor. "Is not the best thing on top of a concussion." He set the board on the table and nudged the box of pieces between them so that they could begin setting up for play.

Rodney nodded and downed his own shot then drew Radek’s back. "I’ll owe you one at a later date then. I’d say we deserve this after what we pulled off in the last... how many hours have we been awake now?"

Nimble fingers moving rapidly, Rodney set up the board without much thought and nodded towards Radek to indicate he should begin.

"I have given up trying to count," Radek answered, studying the board and his opponent before nudging a pawn forward one space.

"You and me both," Rodney replied, stifling a yawn as he moved his own piece. "They’d better not wake me up for at least twenty-four hours when I do finally get to sleep. Well, maybe for another Wraith armada showing up, but if someone screws up the garbage disposal again, gets trapped in a transporter, or backs up the sewage system, they’re on their own"

"We are shielded; the Wraith are gone; and Kavanagh can handle the garbage disposals," Radek replied, making another move and rubbing his forehead. "Is all as good as it gets here." He didn’t mention the dead or the fact that Lt. Ford was gone, for what was the point?

"Until Sheppard or someone touches something they shouldn’t," the Canadian grumbled half-heartedly as he took one of Zelenka’s pawns with practiced ease. "Or Beckett gets himself into trouble again."

Radek studied the board and shifted his knight to take one of Rodney’s bishops. "I believe both of them are asleep by now as are most of the sane population here."

"They often mistake genius for insanity, but we know differently," Rodney said, waving a chess piece around abstractly as he examined the board, watching Zelenka’s move and calculating his own.

"Mmm, that in most cases is genius, but in others..." Radek glanced at Rodney over the top of his glasses, his blue eyes tired but bright with mirth, "is truth."

"Whoever said you were crazy probably heard you muttering to yourself in Czech after a run-in Kavanagh. You really shouldn’t be too hard on yourself." Looking up at Radek, Rodney flashed his companion a rarely seen true smile. "I think you’re eminently sound of mind and... never mind."

"And of more sound reasoning capacity than you?" Radek finished the sentence for Rodney, grinning slightly as he made another move.

"Not what I was going to say, but whatever floats your boat," Rodney mumbled, a slight blush creeping into his cheeks. _Mind out of gutter,_ he thought to himself firmly. _Sam Carter, legs up to_ there _, blond hair and sparkling blue eyes... hey, Radek has blond hair, sort of, and it looks a hell of a lot softer than Sam’s helmet hair..._ "Argh," Rodney groaned. "I think I need more food, or another whiskey, or something."

"You need to sleep," Radek pointed out, getting up to grab Rodney another power bar and pour him another shot of scotch as well as to get himself a glass of water. "You are making even less sense than usual."

"Be very, very glad you’re not seeing what I’m thinking," was all Rodney had to say on the matter as he took yet another chess piece.

Half a cleared chessboard later, Rodney looked up, bleary-eyed, at Radek. "So, Zelenka, who did you send your letter home to? Some hot Czech babe keeping the home fires burning for you?"

"No, it was to my parents," Radek answered. "Though I doubt it was allowed to be passed on. And yours? Did you send a personal message or a professional one - perhaps to Colonel Carter?"

"Carter, now that woman has legs that go on forever," Rodney sighed in fond reminiscence. "No, I didn’t send a message to her. She probably did a victory dance when she heard that I was leaving for Pegasus. Ours was a... tumultuous relationship. Love-hate in the truest sense of the word.

"No, my message was to my younger sister, Jeannie. Facing imminent death makes you reassess priorities in life. Having a family here made me realize how important my family at home really was, and I wanted to... I don’t know, make peace just in case I never had another opportunity to do so."

Radek smiled and reached out to pat Rodney’s hand. "Is all right to be human, Rodney; I will not tell anyone."

"You’d better not, or I’ll forget how to say your name again." As threats went, it wasn’t his most brilliant, but when operating on fumes, it was the best he could come up with.

"Ah, I am properly terrified." Radek moved his queen, then looked up at Rodney. "And you are in check."

Examining the board carefully, Rodney cursed long and colorfully. "You’re taking advantage of me. I’m exhausted and not thinking straight. That’s the only reason you’ve managed to get me in check at all... wait, wait... there!" Staving off an imminent mating, the head of the science team beamed at Zelenka. "So how long have you been awake now?"

Radek looked at his watch before realizing he had no idea what day it was. "I do not know; two days, three, less than you, I believe." He studied the board, then made another move. "Check again."

"I meant since you were swatted like a fly, not since this particular nightmare started," Rodney replied with a roll of his eyes. Taking a lesson from Sheppard, Rodney decided that offense was the best defense and went after Radek’s knight.

"Ah." Radek looked at his watch again, and moved a rook to block the attack. "Only seven hours. If you are tired, we could continue this game at another time."

"Five hours to go. We need to do something else to keep me awake. Any suggestions? I’m open to anything at this point."

"You just do not want to have to admit I beat you." Radek smiled tiredly. "Though defeating you in your incapacitated state is not quite the same."

"Not enough of a challenge for you at the moment?" Rodney asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. "What would challenge you?"

"You expect me to think right now?" Radek rubbed his forehead again.

"You’re probably more capable of it than I am at the moment. Maybe we should just try something that requires no thought for once. What requires no thought?"

"There is not much," Radek admitted. "We could speak of our homes; tell me about your sister."

"I never really knew her," Rodney admitted quietly. "I was ten years older than her, and I was always in the accelerated programs, so I finished high school right about the time most kids are getting used to cafeteria food. From there it was fast tracking through university, my Masters, my PhD, and so on and so forth. From there I was hired by the US Air Force. I guess you could say we were never really close, my family and I."

Radek nodded thoughtfully. "Sometimes it takes distance to show us what is important. My family and I were very close, so leaving was not so easy, but who could turn down a chance such as this?"

"Even if it was a one-way ticket," Rodney agreed. "Atlantis, home of the gate builders, the architects of our civilization and so many others. The concept was even hotter than Samantha Carter’s legs... not that I’ve actually seen them unclothed or anything. I had a healthy fantasy life while in Russia, though."

"So if Colonel Carter had come on the expedition, it would have been perfect for you."

"Well, Dr. Jackson is pretty easy on the eyes too even though he’s a soft science follower, so either one..." Rodney trailed off when he realized what he’d just said.

Noting the slip, Radek only ‘hmmed’ in response. "I have not had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Jackson, but I studied his work as part of learning the history of the stargate on Earth."

"Think ‘the absent-minded professor meets Indiana Jones,’ and you’ve pretty much got Jackson in a nutshell. Brilliant, prone to rambling rants which you have to decipher about as much as you do cuneiform, and blinding insight into all things Ancient. Actually, I’d end up having to kill him, I think. Too...," Rodney gestured wildly with his hands, "abstract. I’m definitely more linear."

"Then perhaps you would have done better if Col. Carter had come... If she did not kill _you_."

"She likes me now. Which means I no longer interest her," Rodney sighed forlornly. "And I have no desire to go native or military, and the women in our department are... well, you know."

Radek gave a low, hoarse laugh. "I understand completely, though Miko believes you hung the sun and moons."

"The only difference between that woman and a stalker is that her upbringing prevents her from going psycho on me," Rodney groaned. "And thank you for reminding me, sleep is now very far from my list of things to do. I have enough to spawn nightmares without adding more fodder."

"It could be worse." Radek’s laughter was becoming louder. "It could be Calvin!" He leaned his arms against the table and lowered his head, then winced at the pressure against his bruise.

"Oh, now that’s just disgusting!" Rodney sputtered. "I think I’d rather make out with Bates or just about anyone, thank you very much!"

Radek held his sides and finally sat up straight again, roaring with laughter. "Stop, Rodney, please stop; my head is aching, and this makes it worse."

"Oh, _now_ you want me to stop, do you?" Rodney growled, not thinking at all. Pushing the chair back as he stood up, Rodney took Zelenka’s face in his hands and kissed him full on the lips.

Radek squawked but didn’t move for fear of tumbling out of his chair and onto the floor. "Rodney..." he began once he could speak, "you need sleep."

"Good idea, and since I need to avoid bad dreams, I’ll need a teddy bear, and since there are no teddy bears here, you’ll have to do. C’mon."

"No, I am wrong; you are delusional. I should take you to see Carson."

"Ha! You admit to being wrong," Rodney crowed, releasing Zelenka’s hand with a shit-eating smirk. "So I guess that means you don’t want to sleep with me? Shot down again."

"You are serious?" Radek had to consciously shut his mouth as it was hanging open in shock.

"Would I say something like that and not mean it? Seriously, would I be that cruel? Not," Rodney replied, looking at Radek seriously. "I mean, I’m an expert at being rejected, what with me being me and all."

"All right, Rodney," Radek soothed, taking a step forward. "I do not believe that. Now, let’s get you into bed, and I will stay and be your..." He shook his head slightly. "... teddy bear."

"You’re patronizing me now. I can tell; I hear that tone of voice that says ‘you’re a crazy man, and I’m going to stick a hypodermic in your ass and pump it full of sedatives when you turn your back on me.’ I’ve heard it before, ex-lovers, Carter, Hammond, Sheppard; oh yeah, I know that tone of voice well," Rodney groused.

"No, Rodney, I don’t have any needles; I’m just going to get you to bed," Radek promised, taking the taller man by the arm and leading him toward it. "Now sit down, and we’ll get your shoes off..."

"Yes, yes, I can hear the sincerity in your voice," Rodney replied but nonetheless let Radek lead him over to his bed. "And I can take my own shoes off, thank you very much," he continued as he bent over to tackle the laces only to sit back up almost immediately. "Ooooh, lack of sleep, food and two shots of whiskey do bad things to a person’s equilibrium."

"Lie back, Rodney," Radek ordered, giving him a push to ensure he complied. "And if I did not want to be here, I would not be here." As he spoke, he untied Rodney’s sneakers and tossed them toward the corner of the room. That done, he kicked off his own shoes and sat on the bed beside Rodney. "Now scoot over so I do not fall off and re-injure myself."

"No, injuring yourself again would be bad. I really would prefer you not do that. Now that I’ve ascertained that you’re not adverse to my advances and that you’re agreeable to... things..., I prefer keeping you around, thank you very much." Shifting over on the bed, McKay grumbled under his breath about needing bigger beds and rolled onto his side in order to watch as Radek sat down next to him.

"Rodney," Radek leaned in and kissed him, "be quiet and go to sleep; you’re babbling." He reached behind himself and plumped one of the pillows before leaning against it.

"Babbling, yes. Sleep is much better; you stay there." And with that Rodney wrapped his arms around Radek’s waist and snuggled his head onto the Czech’s lap, making himself a comfortable pillow.

" _Ach Buh, jA cinit ne domnivat se tato_ ," Radek murmured, though he rearranged them so that Rodney was more comfortable, and when the other man murmured under his breath, Radek stroked his back.

A glance at his watch told him he still had four more hours before he could sleep, so he leaned back against the wall and composed letters to his family in his mind.

~*~*~

Yawning, Rodney blinked his eyes, trying to focus them and suddenly became aware of a body in bed next to him. "Wha...who?!" he yelped, bolting straight up and looking around wildly.

"When one has insisted on sleeping with someone else, is not a good thing to add to the other someone’s injuries," Radek sighed from the floor where he’d tumbled when he was frightened out of sleep by Rodney’s shout. He groaned and sat up, rubbing his lower back and elbow and imagining the snickers from the med techs when they gave him something for his sore ass.

"Oh shit. Oh Shit!! Radek, I’m so sorry. I’m not used to... Here, let me help you up," Rodney stammered as he tried to get out of bed to assist the fallen Czech, only to get his feet tangled in the blankets, which sent him sprawling on top of the half-sitting Zelenka.

"I give up; I cannot win," Radek sighed, staring down at Rodney, who had fallen so that his face was buried in Radek’s crotch and was even now adding to his bruises in his attempt to right himself.

"I, umm, that is," Rodney stuttered as he managed to get himself up off of Radek, kneeling between the other man’s thighs. "Sorry?" he finally offered, bracing a hand on the bed and levering himself up. When he was vertical, Rodney offered Zelenka a hand and, as gently as he could, hoisted him up off the floor.

"In my defense, I thought it was a dream. Cliche, I know, but I did. A very good dream, one I really, _really_ liked, but, well, things like this normally don’t happen to me. I just get shot at. Or slobbered on or..."

"Rodney," Radek said gently, holding up one hand to stop the flow of words, "is fine. I, too, would have been startled to wake and find someone else in my bed, even without everything we have been through the past weeks."

"Oh. Good, good! Do you want me to, uh, look at it or something?"

"I think you already did," Radek said wryly.

"Not _that_ something, your ass, you idiot. You know, the one that you fell on when I scared you out of the bed," Rodney replied sarcastically. "Seriously, do you need a painkiller or something to help? I could call Carson."

"Is all right, really," Radek promised as he gingerly stretched, wincing at the pull of sore muscles. "I must go to the infirmary anyway to have my head checked; I will ask them for an aspirin while I am there."

"The least I can do is offer you a hot shower and a clean change of clothes. It might help relax..." Rodney gestured wildly with his hand, "things. Make them better."

"Rodney, my room is not far; I can easily go there and get my own clothes. As for things, they are fine."

"Well, I have a vested interest in ‘things’ now, don’t I?" Rodney bounced on the balls of his feet, a small grin spreading over his face. "I want to make sure that said ‘things’ mend correctly for future study and use!"

"Study and..." Radek took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. " _Citlivy, citlivy_ , we will attempt this, but only after I go to the infirmary and after you eat, all right?"

"This I can do. Join me for... what time is it anyway?" Rodney muttered, searching for his watch. "Lunch? Lunch?! We slept for at least twelve hours? Anyhow, join me for lunch when you’re done with Beckett?"

"If he does not confine me to a bed for fear of more injury."

"Hey, it’s not like I meant to make you fall out of bed," McKay protested but then realized he was being teased. "Funny, very funny! You’re a regular insert appropriate comedian of the day."

"Here on Atlantis? Would be Major Sheppard," Radek chuckled. "And no, I know this, and I will assure whoever checks me over that it was an accident."

"Sheppard is supposed to be funny?" Rodney stared askance at Radek . "I’d say that _you_ were with a line like that one. Now go, shoo, visit the infirmary, and join me for lunch. In the meantime I’ll be convincing Elizabeth that we really deserve some downtime and that Kavanagh, that sniveling pedantic little coward, can take care of the more menial tasks. Real emergencies we’ll come out, but until the city is going to sink or lose its shield, we need recovery time."

Radek yawned and winced as he tried to stretch. "If Calvin destroys the lab, I will blame you for it, and loudly." He grinned at the last. "Now I go and you remember to shower before the meal, or it will be the shortest date in the history of the Pegasus Galaxy." That said, Radek bent to grab his shoes then ducked out the door and into the hall.

"Are you saying I stink? Radek? Hey, Zelenka!" But the Czech was already in the transporter and across the city by the time Rodney managed to overcome his shock and make his way out the door. "Arrogant bastard," he cursed under his breath. "But kind of adorable. And one hell of a teddy bear," the Canadian chuckled as he walked back into his quarters to obey ‘orders’ and take a shower.

~*~*~

The area they had designated as the mess hall was bustling with activity, and a good number of the faces were ones Radek hadn’t grown used to over the past eight months. They were obviously from the Daedalus, come to help with repairs and staffing until things could get straightened out in the city. Many lives had been lost to the Wraith, and Radek knew they all would be feeling confused over the next few months as they looked for faces who should be there but weren’t.

Of course, along with personnel, the Daedalus had brought supplies, and among them was... "Coffee..." he sighed, catching the heavenly scent in the air and joining the line-up to get his meal, licking his lips at the sight of many foods, none of which the Atlantis team had tasted for quite a while.

After loading his tray with as much food as he thought wise considering the fact that the concussion still gave him bouts of nausea, Radek turned to scan the room, finally spotting Rodney at a table in the corner, speaking to Elizabeth.

"Fifty-two hours," Rodney countered firmly. "Come on, Elizabeth, Zelenka’s the walking wounded, and I’ve barely had enough sleep to make a dent in just how tired I am. The other members of my department got to sleep in shifts, and I know damned well that Kavanagh made sure he got each and every hour of sleep allotted to him."

"Forty-eight, Rodney. I refuse to put up with that... person," Elizabeth managed to get the word out through a gritted smile, "for more than that. If I could give you and Radek more I would, but that’s all that is feasible."

"Well, can you see if we can trade Kavanagh for the Asgard? What’s his name, Hemorrhoid?"

"Hermiod," Radek answered, setting his tray on the table. "If you call him the other, Dr. Novak might give you hemorrhoids."

Elizabeth gave a tired chuckle at that. "It’s a nice thought, but Hermiod and Dr. Novak both stay with the Daedalus, and Kavanagh stays here, at least until I find out if we can rotate staff out on the ship."

"Was good thought, Rodney," Radek sighed after she had walked away, called over by another group of people determined to speak to her.

"Damn. I was so hoping that would work," he groused as he sat across the table from Zelenka, deliberately snatching up the Czech’s coffee and taking an almost orgasmic gulp of freshly ground dark roast. "I know! With us being so short of people, I can assign him to a team, and he can be loud and obnoxious to a planet of grouchy aliens, and voila, they do the job of killing him for us!"

Rodney chuckled gleefully. "Normally I wouldn’t plot another human’s demise, but Calvin isn’t human; he’s this century’s plague upon the city of Atlantis and all its inhabitants. I’d be doing all of us a favor!"

Radek snorted out a laugh and grabbed his cup back before Rodney could drink it all down. "True, true, but until that time comes, he is our burden; perhaps we can simply lock him in a lab and forget about him."

Finally sipping the coffee, Radek sighed and leaned back in the chair, his eyes closing in pleasure, the lids thin and translucent behind his glasses, a stark contrast to the bruising on his forehead and around his eye. "This makes up for much," he murmured, continuing to sip at the brew until it was gone.

"Yeah, it does," Rodney replied hoarsely, eyes fixated on the movement of Zelenka’s throat. "Makes up for a lot... nearly dying multiple times, being used as target practice by a crazy Genii, possibly even being shot at by the Wraith on an almost daily basis. But nothing could make up for Kavanagh. I have a theory. Carter got Jackson to suggest it to Weir just so that I would know how she felt when dealing with me. She’s a cold-hearted bitch when she wants to be."

"And here I thought she liked you." Radek finally sat up again and set his empty mug on the table, looking at it mournfully. "But enough about Calvin, did I hear Elizabeth say we have forty-eight hours off-duty?"

"Yeah, I tried for fifty-two, but there are limits even to Elizabeth’s patience, especially when dealing with... the one we’ve talked enough about. I say we find a couple of empty rooms, requisition their mattresses, bring them back to one of our rooms, lay them on the floor and then sleep until we can’t sleep anymore."

Radek nodded, then frowned slightly. "Out of curiosity, what difference would four more hours of down-time have made?"

"Four extra hours of sleep is still four extra hours of sleep... or whatever else we chose to use that time for. I still owe you a whiskey, and we have a chess game to finish, and... I need a teddy bear to cuddle with," Rodney finished with a sly grin.

Radek groaned. "I had hoped you would have forgotten about that."

"Not likely, but I’ll let it go. I’ve gotten the reaction; I’m satisfied."

" _Tebe ar takovy neurc clen osel_ ," Radek muttered, before beginning to eat, groaning in pleasure at the taste of the fresh greens and ripe tomatoes in his salad.

" _Ano, vyjma ja rano rozkosny_ ,", Rodney replied smugly.

Blue eyes narrowed in a gimlet stare before Radek shook his head. "Cute is not quite the word I would use for you, Rodney, but if you insist, you will be the cute, teddy bear-loving chief scientist of Atlantis. Is good, we can write it on your door."

Rodney growled under his breath. "Next you’ll be offering to feed me citrus. Just kill me now and be done with it, why don’t you?" he groused but perked up when he saw someone with a slice of fresh and oh so chocolaty fudge cake complete with the icing. "Be right back, I see good things to eat, must get some before they’re devoured by less discerning palates."

"Rodney McKay on sugar: this I am not looking forward to seeing," Radek murmured to himself as he continued to eat.

In short order Rodney was back with a juicy filet mignon, new potatoes, a small side salad and a huge slab of the chocolate fudge cake. Sitting across from Radek, he ignored the Czech’s look of disbelief and tucked into his food with delight. "Okay I’ll have to grant that having real food again is fantastic, not that I don’t like MREs," he hastened to add. "But hey, I can’t complain about steak and potatoes again. Life does have some perks some of the time."

"Perhaps I should go and ask Carson for an antacid; I believe you will need it." Radek continued to eat his salad, intending to savor every bite before moving onto his main meal.

"Hey, it’s not that much!" Rodney protested. "You should see what some of the Marines are loading their plates down with. I want the good stuff to last for a while yet, thus my attempt at conservation of resources."

Radek nodded in agreement at that observation. "Though there is the hope that if the Daedalus keeps making round trips, there will be more of these supplies to come."

"It’s a nice thought, isn’t it?" the Canadian agreed. "We’re not as cut off as we thought we’d be. We _can_ get home if we need to. And we’ll be getting new personnel and fresh supplies. I know Carson was beginning to stress about the medical supplies, especially after the Genii made off with so much, and there’s a ton of stuff our department needs."

"Mmm." Eyeing the new military personnel, Radek nodded. "Though I wonder how this will affect the community we have built here."

"Well, Sheppard is still in charge. Despite being a cross between Harry Potter and John Travolta with a really bad sense of humor, he takes his job seriously, and he always looks out for his people. We’re his people first, then the new recruits. I think we’re going to be just fine."

"I hope you are right, but I will reserve my judgment on the matter until I have some evidence." Radek finished his salad and moved on to his main dish, a spicy chicken and rice concoction.

"Probably a good plan," Rodney agreed around a mouth full of food. "It’s a damn good thing that this is a civilian expedition and that Elizabeth is in charge. It’s also a good thing that Sheppard and Carson and I are still around. No new department heads to break in and already well-established chains of command. I have faith. Elizabeth may look like a china doll, but she’s one tough cookie."

Recalling how the military had stepped in and taken control once before, Radek only inclined his head and continued to eat.

"Relax, Radek. Things are looking up. We’re not so alone in the galaxy anymore; we’ve made a lot of allies, almost as many enemies, but that’s beside the point; and we’re about to explore the birds and the bees. I’m the most pessimistic person on Atlantis, and _I’m_ in a good mood. That should tell you something!" Rodney chuckled.

Radek shrugged and gave a half smile. "Perhaps you have worn off on me, or perhaps my mood is because you drank half of my coffee and did not bring me any more when you got your food." His smile grew at the last.

Rodney had the good grace to look shame-faced. "Sorry?" he offered apologetically and stood quickly. "One cup of coffee coming up."

"And a piece of that cake if it’s not too much trouble."

"How about I just get a second fork and you can share mine? It really is too big for me. I did it on purpose."

Radek’s lips twitched as he struggled not to smile again. "This would be acceptable."

"Be right back," Rodney grinned and headed down the aisle only to stop halfway, spin around and stare at Radek with narrowed eyes. He had the sneaking suspicion he’d just been had, but Zelenka looked like those brats on the planet with the nearly depleted ZPM. There was no way to be certain... dammit!

When Rodney returned with the coffee, Radek took the mug gratefully. "My thanks, Rodney; I would offer you a gratuity, but perhaps it would be something better shared in private."

"Keep talking like that and you won’t have a chance to finish your cake," Rodney growled slightly. He had this burning desire to kiss Zelenka across the table, just to make sure his memory wasn’t playing tricks on him, but he managed to hold on to his restraint. Barely.

"I think you would regret that more than I, but I am not leaving without finishing my coffee," Radek said sternly.

"Drink fast," Rodney replied succinctly. "And the cake is transportable. We can take it with us."

"No, no, no." Radek shook his head and pointed at Rodney’s mostly full plate. "Finish your food, and then we shall discuss the cake and where to eat it."

"Radek, I don’t think you seem to grasp the severity of this situation. It hasn’t been since we came here that I’ve gone without. It’s been going on two years!" Rodney almost wailed.

"And you think that because we have shared a kiss and a bed that... How do you say it..." Radek’s English deserted him as his ire rose. "...that I will roll over and spread them?"

"What? No! I mean two years for companionship, Radek. Kissing, cuddling basically another human being wanting to be with me in any capacity. Let’s face it, I’m a tad arrogant—well deserved I might add—and have a reputation for being difficult—I only expect what I myself can deliver, namely perfection—and I get, well, cranky. I’m not a nice person. I wouldn’t want to date me! So the fact that you said yes, well, I’m afraid you might change your mind, I guess."

"Rodney, I have known you for some time now, and I am aware of all these things." Radek took a drink of his coffee before setting the mug on the table. "Well, perhaps other than the two years part. The rest is fine, is nothing I have not dealt with before and, trust me, I have many ways of dealing with such things; my ex-wife, she was of very similar temperament."

"Ex-wife? Umm, Radek, just so we’re clear. I’m male. You know this, right?"

"I am shocked to learn this," Radek deadpanned.

"Asshole," Rodney muttered, a half smirk spreading across his face. "So, why’d you two... Actually, never mind, it’s none of my business, and I’m here, and she’s not, and you actually _want_ to give this a try, so I’m not going to ask for trouble by asking about your ex."

"It was... expected," Radek tried to explain. "We were friends, and it seemed for a time that it would be enough, but it was not, for either of us. But yes, we are the both of us here, and that is a story for another day."

"Or not. Like I said, I don’t really mind not knowing. Shocking, I know, and you should take it while you can get it," Rodney replied, finishing off the last bite of steak with a heartfelt sigh. "You know, I never really did care very much about what I ate so long as it didn’t kill me. Well, Russian food was _really_ bad, but I got used to it. However, after eating some of the things our mess hall staff has tried to concoct, I can safely say that there’s nothing like some home cooking anywhere in any galaxy!"

"Is strange, but I have come to think of Atlantis as home, bad cooking and all."

"True. We definitely have a vested interest in this grand old lady now. But still, it’s like the video letters we sent. It was a reminder of what we find most important and a fond memory of what we left behind."

Radek nodded, his eyes thoughtful behind his glasses. "I must say I believe I have found more here than I left behind, imminent death notwithstanding." He finished the rest of his food, then looked pointedly at the cake.

"And you haven’t even been on any harrowing off-world expeditions yet!" Rodney chuckled. "So shall I sign you up for a team?" Realizing just what Radek was looking at, the head of the science department grinned. "To go?" he asked hopefully.

"I would not mind seeing some of these worlds I have heard about," Radek admitted as he pushed back his chair and stood. "And yes, to go is good; perhaps we should get some milk as well."

"I’ll see if I can talk Sheppard and Elizabeth into a science expedition soon. After all, Beckett got to go off world, so I don’t see why you shouldn’t as well," Rodney replied, standing and stacking his dirty dishes on the tray to return to the kitchens for washing. Quickly sliding them into the appropriate slot, he made sure he had the cake and forks and waited for Radek to grab the milk.

Radek had followed with his own dishes and ducked back to the front of the line to pick up two small cartons of milk. "Heh, I have not seen these in many months," he chuckled, holding them up.

"Cow’s milk. _Real_ cow’s milk and not that nasty powdered stuff," Rodney grinned. "I wonder if we can convince Elizabeth to request that the Daedalus bring a herd of cows with them next supply run. We can show the Athosians what to do with them and boom, instant milk, meat and leather goods!"

"I somehow do not think that Col. Caldwell will allow herds of cows to wander the halls of his ship, and I can imagine that Hermiod would be most put out. I have not met an Asgard before, but he seems very grumpy."

"Cargo holds are your friend. Besides, it isn’t nearly as long a trip as it was back when North America was first colonized! This is much more efficient," Rodney argued simply to keep the flow of conversation going as they walked to the living quarters.

"So, would it sound cliched to ask if we’re going to your place or mine?" he said when they finally reached their destination.

Radek glanced at the hallway and shrugged. "Is closer to yours from here."

"By all of what, fifteen feet and a corner?" Rodney chuckled. "But I won’t say no; we still have a chess game to finish, and I’ve got a great view even if I don’t have a balcony."

"This sounds good to me, and I believe you owe me a drink."

"I believe you’re right. Of course whiskey and milk, not so good together, so why don’t we save the drink until a little later?"

Radek shuddered. "Yes, that would be best." Rodney thought his door open, and they walked inside, Radek setting the milk cartons on the table near the unattended chess game.

Placing the cake next to the milk, Rodney put a hand on Zelenka’s shoulder, turning him around. "First, first I need to do this," the Canadian murmured before he sealed his lips over Radek’s, his tongue brushing against the other man’s mouth, begging entrance.

Radek smiled against the pressure, then opened his mouth, sliding his tongue out to stroke Rodney’s as it entered. There was a flavor of steak spices and bitter coffee, but it was possible the latter was Rodney’s flavor. Radek slid a hand up to Rodney’s neck and held him into the kiss until it was his tongue in Rodney’s mouth, and that was just as good as the reverse.

A groan rattled from deep within Rodney’s chest, and his eyes fluttered closed while his hands moved down Radek’s arms and then under them to hold onto the other man’s waist. He pressed himself against the Czech with the lightest of touches, not demanding but asking for more.

It felt so good; Radek tasted like... everything that Rodney could ever possibly want. It had everything firing in the Canadian, cerebral and physical bliss combined. Rodney could drown in this feeling quite happily.

"Mmm, for this kiss, perhaps I would be happy to roll over and spread them," Radek murmured, leaning back enough to focus on Rodney through his glasses.

"No, no. You’re right. Waiting is good. Waiting means... this is really going to work and it isn’t just a one-night stand sort of thing. I can wait," Rodney replied breathlessly. Licking his lips as if to gather up the last of Radek’s taste, the other man grinned disarmingly. "But it really was a hot kiss, wasn’t it?"

"It was incendiary," Radek promised, chuckling. "But I shall tell no one of it for fear they would be tempted to try themselves."

"Won’t happen. I’m spoken for," Rodney beamed. "And while I agree we should practice a certain level of restraint, I don’t think we’ve reached the disengage point yet, do you?" he murmured, moving in to claim Radek’s lips again.

Dragging his hand up to tangle in Rodney’s dark hair, Radek tilted his head back and bit at his throat, feeling the rasp of their stubble as their cheeks rubbed together.

"Oh, that’s good. In fact it’s wonderful. This could be a definite problem," Rodney groaned. "I don’t know if I’m ever going to want to stop." Tilting his head, he managed to catch Zelenka’s earlobe, which he began to nibble and worry, feeling more and more out of control by the second.

"For now, is no need, but eventually you will remember that cake, and I will be forgotten." Radek slid a hand to Rodney’s waist, his fingertips brushing the curve of the taller man’s ass.

"Not going to happen. I like you much better than cake," Rodney promised absently as he pressed himself further into Zelenka, grinding himself lightly against the other man and eliciting a groan from both of them. "However, I think we may want to sit down before we fall down," he finally managed to point out when his knees threatened to buckle under him.

"Or leaning against the wall is good," Radek offered, as it was closer than the table or bed.

"Good idea. I knew there was a reason why I insisted that Stargate Command do whatever it took to convince you to come," Rodney breathed as he nuzzled his way down to Radek’s neck and began to suck on it hungrily. Shuffling along with Zelenka over to the wall, Rodney allowed his hands to roam, touching and feeling every part of Radek he could reach.

"You did not even know my name," Radek scoffed, though the laughter turned into a moan when Rodney bit his throat. He slid a hand up under Rodney’s shirt and dragged his fingers through the wiry hair there, searching for and finding the peaked nub of a nipple.

"Well, no. But I knew you were one of the best at what you did, oh fuck me!" McKay moaned as Radek began to tease him. He was going to pass out from all this stimulation sooner rather than later, Rodney was sure of it.

"Is true." Radek smiled serenely, though the expression was marred by the fact that his eyes were dark and needy behind the protective shield of his glasses.

"You are an evil, evil man, Radek Zelenka. I feel the need to point this out to you," Rodney panted, his head resting against the wall, neck arched and eyes closed. "And if you keep this up, I’m going to need another shower in short order!"

"I thought all scientists from Eastern Europe were supposed to be evil," Radek chuckled, sliding his hand out from under Rodney’s shirt. "But to prove my good intentions, I will stop and allow us to eat our cake and drink our milk before it grows warm."

"Okay, this might be where I have to kill you now," Rodney groaned but nonetheless let go of Radek’s waist and braced himself on the wall for support until his legs steadied. Then he winced slightly and adjusted himself so that he could at least walk over to the table to enjoy the cake.

At least it was Radek who suggested it, Rodney thought happily. Now he could have his chocolate fix and then take it out on the wily Czech once the sugar hit his system!

Radek stepped back, rubbing his chin and pulling off his glasses to clean them with the hem of his shirt. "I would much prefer being alive," he commented roughly before clearing his throat and moving to the table and taking a seat.

Rodney snorted. "Fine, okay, you live to see another day," he deadpanned. "Besides, I still have need of you. You’re not quite expendable yet."

"You have no idea how this fills my heart with joy," Radek snorted, reaching for a fork, cutting a large bite of the cake and eating it. "Mmm, is wonderful. Perhaps you would like some?"

"You gonna feed me?" Rodney leered as he opened his carton of milk and took a healthy swig. "If you say yes, I think I’m going to have to marry you. I’m Canadian. It’s legal for me," he beamed.

"After that, I am tempted to simply push the cake into your face," Radek muttered. "But it would be a waste of good food." He emphasized the last by taking another large bite of the cake.

Rodney laughed. He had been pushing Zelenka’s buttons, but it was sweet to be able to turn the tables. Rodney was more convinced than ever that Radek had been pulling his chain in the mess hall, but he had no way to prove it so... revenge was sweet when served with chocolate, the scientist thought rather smugly to himself. "I’ll behave. I promise."

Radek rolled his eyes even as he continued to eat the cake, taking intermittent sips from his milk to wash the rich dessert down.

"What, you don’t believe me?"

Radek only raised his eyebrows and looked at Rodney over the top of his glasses.

"Doubting Thomas’, I’m surrounded by them!" Rodney sighed, taking another forkful of cake. "Sheppard and Teyla don’t believe me either. Which is strange considering when one compares the number of times that Sheppard has led us into the frying pan as opposed to the number of times I have. Mine just happen to be a little more, er, spectacular that’s all."

"Major Sheppard tends only to lead your team astray while you, Rodney..." Radek chuckled. "Your experiments lead to interesting times for all of Atlantis."

"And this is a bad thing how? We’re alive, we’re here, and I’m a genius. So are you actually. That cloak was a thing of brilliance. And _we_ pulled it off. Besides, what would any of you do without me?" Rodney expounded, his fork waving as he spoke.

Radek shook his head and ate more of the cake before Rodney could down it all. "What would we do? Probably nothing as we would all be dead."

Rodney beamed. "Exactly!" he touted. "But then again, I owe _you_ my life, a few times over, Radek. So it cuts both ways, doesn’t it? Ford would be a space-popsicle if you hadn’t figured out how to jury-rig the jumper controls in time. And Sheppard, Teyla, Stackhouse, Markham and I would have simply ceased to exist."

"Ahh, but I am not one to count debts owed, am I?"

"Maybe not, but it meant a lot to me," Rodney said, suddenly serious. "I was fucking terrified, Radek. Fading from existence wouldn’t have been painful, but I’d take being sucked dry by a Wraith any day over explosive decompression. It’s always been one of my biggest fears, that and drowning."

Radek nodded. "Well, is no danger tonight, so relax and enjoy, Rodney."

"Well I guess that it depends on how you define dangerous," Rodney replied with a waggle of his eyebrows. "For instance, a face full of cake might be dangerous or kissing each other breathless might be dangerous," he pointed out before commandeering Radek’s hand to take the morsel of cake off the Czech’s fork with a wicked grin.

"I would say that eating the cake off another man’s fork is _very_ dangerous; much more than the others."

"What are you going to do?" Rodney challenged with a leer. "Spank me and send me to bed without any supper?"

Radek shook his head. "No, you would like that too much, at least the spanking part; for that I will simply eat the rest of the cake myself." Smirking, he pulled the plate to his side of the table and leaned back in his chair.

McKay’s eyes narrowed, and he stood slowly. "Nations have gone to war over much less than denying a man his fair share of the prize, Radek Zelenka," he murmured threateningly as he stalked around the table to stand in front of the smirking Czech. "I’ll just have to demand equal compensation if you insist upon taking my cake. Now what shall I demand that is of equal worth to chocolate? _Real_ chocolate is as precious as gold here in Atlantis, especially every twenty-eight days. You should know this."

"If you are demanding I sacrifice my virginity to appease your sense of indignation, I must tell you, is far too late for that," Radek laughed even as he reached for the plate. "Fine, I will share with you, if only to avert hostilities."

"Oh no, you’ve made my appetite switch directions now," Rodney purred, leaning over to lap at the other man’s lips, tasting the sweetness of chocolate, the creaminess of milk and the slightly spicy flavor that was entirely Radek. "The cake is all yours, Radek. Eat up. You’ll need the energy."

"You know, I will hold you to these promises." Radek reached for his milk carton, drinking down the remaining liquid with obvious enjoyment.

"God, I hope so," Rodney replied with fervor, his blue eyes darkening to slate as he watched the motions of Radek’s throat as he swallowed. Of course it caused Rodney to swallow as well, but for an entirely different reason. "Going slow is going to kill me," he murmured aloud without realizing it.

"Ahh, but is good way to go," Radek grinned, eating another bite of cake and smirking at the way Rodney’s gaze followed the fork to his lips.

Groaning in defeat, McKay scrubbed his face with his hands. "There are names for people like you, Radek Zelenka, and they aren’t very polite at all!" he murmured, glancing away from the show.

_  
_

Okay, McKay, you’ve gone toe to toe with the Wraith, military brass and Colonel Samantha Carter. Are you going to let one nerdy, if cute, scientist scramble your brains like yesterday’s reconstituted eggs? he berated himself silently.

The rather impressive grey matter he owned finally decided to kick in, and deviltry lit Rodney’s eyes. "Then again, being polite is highly overrated, and it’s one Canadian stereotype I happen to be more than willing to break," he declared nonchalantly even as he stripped his shirt off, kicked off his shoes and then stretched out on the bed in order to better _appreciate_ the show that Radek was putting on for him.

"Please, don’t let me stop you. Continue eating. It’s quite the show," he purred when he realized that Radek’s fork had stopped moving halfway to his lips.

"You should know," Radek replied easily, though his eyes never left Rodney’s reclining form. "And as for not stopping, I have better idea." He picked up the cake and stood, walking purposefully across the small room.

Dipping a finger in the thick layer of frosting on the cake, Radek then dragged it across Rodney’s lips, grinning when Rodney couldn’t help but lick at it. "This way, I get to enjoy the cake and you, all at the same time."

"I never figured you for the food fetish type, Radek," McKay smirked. "But who am I to complain?" he continued with a shrug of lightly muscled shoulders. He’d never be the studly perfection that was John Sheppard, but all those mad dashes to the stargate or the puddle jumper in order to remain among the breathing had actually paid off over the past eight months. Rodney didn’t mention the digging, shooting, hitting, slogging and all the various and sundry tasks he performed while on a recon mission which had left him in better shape than he’d ever been.

He was still a little soft around the middle but not nearly as much of a couch potato as he had been on Earth. In fact Rodney was quite proud of his newly svelte form and was more than a little pleased at being able to show off for Radek. He actually felt sexy for the first time in a long time. So of course he had to preen just a bit.

"So are you going to smear me with cake and eat it off of me, or is there some other form of this particular fetish?" he continued to tease, one hand lazily snapping open the buttons on his regulation pants and lowering the zipper with seeming nonchalance.

"Rodney, I am sure you have heard this many times before, but I will say it again; you talk too much." With that, Radek leaned in to lick the frosting from Rodney’s mouth, his tongue then slipping into the warm, inviting space behind to share the flavor between them.

"Shutting up now," Rodney murmured before plunging his hands into the rather flyaway mass of hair that graced Radek’s head. Here was wet and heat and chocolate and spice, and it was the most incredible melding of flavors that Rodney had ever tasted. He never knew that heat had its own taste until he’d tasted it within Radek’s mouth. It gave him a sudden, terrifying insight into what an addiction must be like because all Rodney could think was ‘more’.

"Is good," Radek whispered, when they pulled apart, his lips brushing the words over Rodney’s mouth so that they were more felt than heard. "Is very good."

"Damn right it is," Rodney growled, "and you’re moving. No moving unless other parts start moving as well," he demanded even as his hands slipped from Radek’s head to his ass, kneading and cupping the firm mounds, applying barely controlled pressure in order to press Radek down into him even as Rodney thrust upwards, grinding.

Grateful that he’d set the cake to the side of them, Radek tightened his arms around Rodney, holding him close as they continued to kiss.

Living on Atlantis with the constant threat of Wraith, limited food supply and the myriad of other life-threatening emergencies that cropped up on a regular basis had caused everyone on the base to become much leaner then they had been upon first arrival to Atlantis. Sheppard had also insisted on everyone having basic combat and firearms training, so even scientists such as Zelenka had been getting into a regular fitness regime, courtesy of Uncle Sam and Major Sheppard. And it showed.

The results looked good and felt even better on Radek. And not being one to sit still, his hands always in motion whether he was talking or not, Rodney began to follow the tracery of muscle and sinew up the other man’s back. It was amazing lying here, a strong body covering him, callused hands buried in his hair and five o’clock shadow lightly abrading his cheeks as he and Zelenka made out like a couple of horny teenagers.

"God, Radek, I _need_ you," Rodney groaned, his voice almost pained. "So fucking bad that it hurts."

"Is going to be only a moment," Radek panted, managing to pull back enough to get to his knees though Rodney’s hands kept coaxing him to stay where he was. "Lift up," he rasped, dragging Rodney’s already opened trousers down over his hips, then off, backing off the bed as he did so.

Radek’s own shirt followed, almost taking his glasses with it, and he kicked off his trainers so he could get his own pants off, Rodney’s expression as he watched making each movement seem to take an eternity. That task finally accomplished, Radek dove back to the bed, groaning as his nude body slid against Rodney’s. "I think we shall be like teenagers because is no way this is going to last long."

"And this is a surprise how?" Rodney gasped, fighting to hold on for just a little longer. "God, it’s a miracle I haven’t come already. You are so incredibly fucking hot it isn’t funny, and you kiss like a wet dream. Crap. We are so having to do this again when we’ve taken the edge off."

"Do you think I am going to argue this point?" Radek gasped, his fingers digging into Rodney’s hips as they ground together, hard erections pressing into firm flesh.

"Of course you’re not going to argue; you know I’m right; I’m always right!" Rodney got out with a ghost of his usual arrogance. Sliding a hand between their writhing bodies, McKay wrapped his hand around both of their thrusting erections as best he could and squeezed, gasping at the slick slide of their flesh surrounded by heat and with the added friction of his hand.

All too soon he was biting down hard on Radek’s shoulder to stop himself from bellowing his release and drawing unwanted attention to his room. "Fuck me!" he gasped. "That’s outstanding!"

" _Ma Buh, clen urcity cesta aby citeni_..." Radek gasped, driving forward into Rodney’s hand, the sharp pain of the bite on his shoulder only goading him on as he felt his own release overtake him.

"Oh yeah," Rodney sighed, relaxing and sinking down further into the bed, his arms wrapped around his lover’s waist in a loose grip. Kissing the bite he’d delivered in order to sooth it, Rodney began to make his way up from shoulder to mouth, taking his time to savor Radek. Breaking into a sappy smile at that thought, he finally managed to make it to Radek’s lips, which he bussed teasingly.

"Please do not tell me you are one of those people who are energized by sex, or I fear I will have to kill you," Radek sighed.

"If you kill me, you’ll be the head of the Sciences division and Weir will expect you to be pulling miracles out of your ass on a daily basis. Are you sure you want to do that?" Rodney pointed out logically, a smug look on his face.

"Ah! So you admit this is where your ideas come from - brainstorms indeed," Radek scoffed.

"It just goes to prove that even my ass is capable of pure genius."

"Is not bad looking, but genius? That I would have to give to Major Sheppard."

"Excuse me?" Rodney choked indignantly, glaring up at the Czechoslovakian. "That scrawny, paper thin flyboy butt is better than mine? I don’t think so!"

"Is a fine butt," Radek smirked, enjoying getting Rodney going. "Not quite as fine as mine, but still very good."

"Kavanagh has a better ass than Sheppard," Rodney grumbled, still not appeased at being told his posterior was second rate.

"You stare at Kavanagh’s ass?" Radek’s lip curled in disgust. "I think I will go shower now."

"I was hopped up on Carson’s painkillers and I..." Rodney’s voice faded into a serious of unintelligible mumbles.

"And you stared at Kavanagh’s ass," Radek chortled. "Oh, this will be good for much torture."

"And I thought he was _you_!" Rodney retorted. "He had his head in a machine, and his ass was the only thing visible. How was I supposed to know you’d skived off of work and assigned the rodent what I’d told you to do!"

"You mistook my ass for _that_? And besides, was simple task, even _he_ could not screw it up." Even as he spoke, Radek was climbing out of bed and turning around to show Rodney his ass. "See? Is prime example, not dried up stick."

Rodney blinked at the ass presented to him in such a forceful manner. It really was a fine specimen of gluteus maximus if ever he saw one. Of course he wasn’t going to tell Radek that; it would go to his hea... "What the hell is that?" he asked as his eyes were caught by a slight marring of Radek’s left hip.

"What is what?" Radek asked, craning his neck to look at his backside. "Do I have bruise from you tossing me to the floor last night?"

Rodney failed to answer. He instead grasped Radek’s hips and pulled him backwards, twisting Radek slightly so that he had a better view of the object of his interest. Tracing a finger across the scarred area, Rodney leaned in closer and, in a moment of pure lust, ran his tongue across the small blue and green circle he’d discovered. "You have a tattoo. Seriously hot," he breathed.

"Ah, that." Radek’s vice had deepened, and he stroked a hand through Rodney’s hair. "Was to remind me of home, though now it seems that Atlantis has become home."

"It’s still damned hot. And sexy too," Rodney grinned up at Radek. "It makes me look at you in a whole new light, Dr. Zelenka. Who’d have thought you could be such a...rebel like that. I like."

"If you are done admiring my ink, perhaps I could join you on the bed again?" Radek asked though the words were spoken in a pleased tone.

"Not nearly done with it but I’ll let you lie down anyways," Rodney said with a smirk. "In fact, you just lie yourself down here," he continued, making room for Radek to lie down and then he scooted downward, bent on giving the tattoo a thorough examination with all available ‘tools’ such as fingers and lips and tongue. To gather empirical evidence, of course.

"Tell me you have not found a new favorite toy, McKay," Radek sighed though he was grinning.

"And the problem with this would be?" Rodney asked, looking up at Radek with a vaguely annoyed look on his face. "Now shut up and stop interrupting me. I’m gathering data in order to test a relatively new theorem I’ve come up with." And with that Rodney sucked the colorful patch of skin into his mouth and began to lap at it with his tongue.

Radek chuckled, his eyebrows rising behind his glasses as he leaned back against the wall, continuing to stroke Rodney’s hair and groaning as the hollow of his hip was catalogued and examined.

"Mmm, tasty," Rodney murmured before his lips slid towards the right. Ghosting over the hollow of Radek’s hip, Rodney nuzzled his way through the coarse brown pubic hair he encountered, taking in his lover’s scent with a deep breath. "You smell so good," he whispered just before his mouth closed over the tip of Radek’s cock.

"I taste like us," Radek sighed, closing his eyes and simply enjoying the sensations washing over him and Rodney played with the head of his softened cock.

"Mmmm," Rodney agreed, not willing to give up his treat in order to answer Radek. He took in more and more of his lover until his nose was brushing against Radek’s curls.

"Hmm, I have found a way to keep you quiet at least." Radek grinned as he spoke and circled his hips, hoping Rodney would not bite in retaliation.

Snarling around the object in his mouth, Rodney shot Radek one of his patented death glares, which promised harsh retribution when he wasn’t otherwise engaged. His hand, however, pinched down hard on one of Radek’s hips in warning.

Radek glowered. "You know, McKay, injuring your partner is not the best way to initiate sex!"

Chuckling, Rodney lashed his tongue along the underside of Radek’s cock and then began to suckle harder, wanting to get Radek hard enough to fuck him to the point where he lost more than a few brain cells.

"You know," Radek said conversationally even though his voice was hoarse and tight, "nearly-forty-year-old men do not recover quite so quickly as this so..." His words dissolved into a rambling in Czech as Rodney did something with his tongue that made his brain dissolve.

Rodney grinned rather smugly around Radek’s cock. He had the reputation for having a razor sharp tongue that could cut a person into teeny tiny pieces or give them a lashing that left them sobbing like snot-nosed brats. Very few people ever bothered to think about let alone discover the upside of having such an agile and deadly tongue. Radek was just in the process of doing so.

Whipping his tongue back and forth across the sensitive underside of Radek’s cock, Rodney began to hum quietly, letting the vibrations move through the flesh that was encased by his mouth. His hands caressed Radek’s inner thighs with whisper soft touches, the calluses on his fingers adding a rough bit of drag to the otherwise ticklish sensations. Every once in a while he’d brush the backs of his knuckles against Radek’s testes, just to add that extra layer of sensation. And never once did Rodney take his eyes off Radek as he did all of this, drinking in every open-mouthed gasp and flinch and tightening of facial features.

English had long since deserted Radek’s mind, and he babbled in Czechoslovakian, not caring that Rodney couldn’t understand a word he was saying. Finally, the multitude of sensations became too much, and he thrust upward, blue eyes wide behind his glasses as he came, both cursing and praising Rodney for his skill.

"Well fuck," Rodney groused after he’d finished swallowing as much as he could, wiping off the excess that had dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. "I was going to get you to fuck me first."

"If that is what you wanted, perhaps you should have not been so enthusiastic in your attention," Radek gasped from where he was collapsed on the bed.

"When have I ever not given one hundred fifty percent of everything I have to a project, especially one as enjoyable as this was?" Rodney replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "I’m your classic Type ‘A’ personality, a perfectionist all the way," he claimed, blatantly ignoring the other, less desirable, aspects of his personality type. "Besides, you enjoyed it. I can tell. You’re still doing the wobbly, can’t uncross your eyes or uncurl your toes thing. It’s cute."

Radek grumbled under his breath and stretched. "Cute, bah, not a word I ever use to describe myself or you for that matter. So, as you have successfully taken one option away from us, would you like me to demonstrate my own oral skills?"

"Well, of course I’d never be cute. Handsome in a manly way, yes, but cute? I leave that to you," Rodney smirked as he watched Radek shift and move. Damn, the man was, well, hot! "And far be it from me to interfere with a practical demonstration of an applied skill set. It’s always a good idea to show off your abilities to those who appreciate them most."

"So you are finally admitting you appreciate me, Dr. McKay?" Radek chuckled; recovering enough to push up to his elbows, then pounce, flattening Rodney beneath him. "Ah, bad idea," he whispered, when the sudden movement caused his head to ache. "But I will persevere."

"Do you see any witnesses who could corroborate that statement?" McKay replied sotto voce and then grinned at the dirty look he got. "Yes, I appreciate you. In the lab and out of it," he continued, fingers moving to lightly massage Radek’s temples in an attempt to help alleviate some of the pain. "You don’t have to help with anything if you’re in too much pain. My hand and I have a more than passing acquaintance," Rodney offered tentatively, hoping like hell his magnanimous offer wouldn’t be accepted.

"That might be for the best," Radek began, watching the look of horror steal across McKay’s face. Unable to keep a solemn expression in the face of such trauma, he barked out a laugh and turned his head to kiss Rodney’s palm. "Do not worry, McKay; is feeling better now, and soon, you will be also."

"You absolute and total bastard," Rodney hissed, eyes narrowing as thoughts of revenge danced. "I take back everything I said about needing you... Here I was trying to be _nice_ which, I might add, I rarely am, and you do this to me? Remind me to partner you up with Kavanagh when I get into the lab in the morning!"

"We are off duty for another forty some odd hours," Radek reminded him blithely, "and I am sure I could get Carson to give me a note, concussion, remember?" As he spoke, he stroked his hands up Rodney’s thighs, teasing him with touches near his groin but not touching it.

"Radek Zelenka, you are this close to being permanently assigned the care and control of Dr. Calvin Kavanagh," Rodney growled menacingly, his body involuntarily hitching to try and increase stimulation to certain horribly neglected parts of his anatomy. "Do something or suffer the consequences!"

"Threats while I am so close to giving you what you want? Not a good idea, McKay," Radek chuckled before leaning in and licking a path up the length of Rodney’s erection, nearly purring at the salty, almost musky taste of his skin.

"Okay, contemplating the existence of an actual god here," Rodney gasped, hips bucking upwards, desperate to increase the sensations coursing through him. "C’mon, Zelenka, stop fucking around and suck me already!"

"You are quite amusing this way," Radek murmured against Rodney’s erection before giving in and closing his mouth over the hard length, slowly taking Rodney deeper into his mouth before reaching the base and swallowing.

"I’m not your personal comediaoooooooohhhhhhhhh!" Rodney’s response turned into a heartfelt groan and a full body shiver as his cock was, for the first time in too damned long to think about, taken into a warm mouth and so expertly sucked. "Fuck, you’ve done this before. A lot!" He whimpered, reaching up to grab on tightly to the pillow his head was resting against so as not to hold on to Radek’s head too tightly. As it was, he was ready to climb the walls.

Radek smirked and slowly pulled back, trailing his tongue up Rodney’s cock as he did so. Resting his elbows on the outside of Rodney’s thighs, he settled in to enjoy making the other man as incoherent as possible, which with Rodney, was going to be quite a sight.

Biting down hard on his lower lip to prevent any embarrassment, Rodney still couldn’t contain the little whimpers and mewls of pleasure that came from deep within his throat. Damned traitorous body! Breathing heavily, Rodney’s back arced completely off the bed, his spine curving at an impossible degree before coming back down. He was so damned close, and this teasing was killing him. Radek was... he was... oh sweet Jesus doing quantum calculations; he was going to drive him insane!

Taking advantage of the shift in position, Radek slid his hands under Rodney’s ass, sucking strongly on his erection to keep him distracted while Radek let one finger trail through the saliva that wet Rodney’s skin, then pressed it into his ass.

Rodney let out an almost soundless moan, losing his ability to vocalize as Radek pushed him higher and higher. The finger in the ass was the last straw, and with a strangled sound he came, filling Radek’s mouth with his seed.

Radek swallowed, humming out his pleasure as he did so, finally pulling back to place a kiss on Rodney’s softening flesh then straightening up to place another one on his lips. "So, does my skill level meet your expectations?"

"Guh," Rodney replied intelligently.

"That is, perhaps, the most intellectual thing I have ever heard you say."

"Leave now and come back in half an hour so I can fuck you into the floor," Rodney growled, half meaning it. "You really need to learn how to savor the silence, Radek."

Radek shrugged. "If I leave, I will not be returning, so it is best that you rethink that statement."

"Oh, be a man and go to sleep already," Rodney chuckled, turning on his side and slinging an arm around Radek’s waist to snuggle against him. "And for the record we’re not leaving this room for the next forty hours. I’ve got MREs in a drawer and water in the bathroom, and I’ve mentally locked the door so the only way you’re getting out is with my say so. Gotta love that gene therapy."

Radek relaxed and shifted around to get comfortable with Rodney half on top of him. "You tell me to go to sleep, then you keep talking; this is contradictory, so be quiet." He looked up at the ceiling and grinned, then closed his eyes.

"Hey, who’s in charge here? You’re pushing it again, Zeppo."

"I believe that you think that it would be you in this case," Radek replied cryptically, betting that Rodney’s current state would confound his meaning enough for safety.

"Are you saying that you are? I know I’m in charge. Leadership is a quality I simply exude, and you, my dear Radek, are my minion!"

Radek groaned. "Go to sleep, Rodney; you are giving me a headache."

"You were supposed to say that _before_ sex, not after," Rodney replied smugly but nonetheless settled in for a quick post coital nap.

~*~*~

"Rodney." Radek groaned and tried to get out from under the heavier man’s weight. "Rodney, you must move."

"Whazzz...f’v mre min’ts mom," Rodney grumbled, shifting slightly to get a firmer grip on his ‘pillow’.

Radek pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. "Now, now, Rodney-dear, you have a test today, and you need to get up for school," he crooned.

"Wha???" Rodney shot straight up in bed and looked around wildly until reality came flooding back in. "All right, that’s it, Zelenka, you’re _fired!_ "

"You cannot fire me," Radek said smugly. "You need me."

"The hell I do. You impersonated my _mother_. My mother makes Attila the Hun look like a teddy bear and you..." Rodney shuddered and moved off of his bed partner. "Go, leave, and never darken my laboratory again!"

"I cannot." Radek nodded toward the door. "You have locked us in."

"Damn, forgot about that," McKay sighed as he scrubbed a hand through his hair and then over his face. "So why did I have to get up anyhow?"

"Because," Radek replied with dignity, "I had to use the toilet, and you are heavy."

" **HEY**!" Rodney protested. "I’ll have you know I’m thinner and fitter than I was when I first stepped through the stargate. This is all muscle, baby, and you should appreciate just how lucky you are to have me."

"I did not say you were fat, Rodney, simply that you were heavy. You are fit, but you are very dense."

"Did you just insult me?" Rodney growled with a narrow-eyed stare at the wily Czech. "You just did, didn’t you? Go, bleed the lizard and stop speaking to me when I’m not completely awake. I haven’t had coffee yet; you have me at an unfair advantage."

Radek nodded, then leaned over and kissed Rodney firmly on the lips. "I will even see if I can get us coffee while I am up - if you let me out of here, of course."

"Okay, you’re reinstated as head whipping boy in the lab... hey, what do you think about bondage?" Rodney asked with a smirk and a leer.

Radek shook his head and headed off to the bathroom, shaking his head and muttering under his breath in Czech as he went.

Snickering, Rodney stretched then rolled over, hugging a pillow to his chest. He hadn’t had this much fun since... God, since MIT. Sex had just been a thing to take the edge off so that he could think clearly and get back to work, but now he was feeling... mushy.

Soon, Radek returned, looking and feeling much fresher. "I used your toothbrush," he announced. "I hope you do not mind."

"Considering what other of my fluids you’ve ingested in the last few hours, I have a feeling a little saliva won’t kill you or me," Rodney grinned up from the bed. "But I do thank you for getting rid of the semen breath, and I suppose I should do the same."

"If you want to kiss me with that mouth, it would be a good idea."

Heaving himself up off the mattress with an exaggerated sigh, Rodney shuffled off to the bathroom with a ‘yes, dear, whatever you say, dear’ thrown over his shoulder. Sticking his head out of the bathroom a few seconds later, toothbrush tucked into the corner of his mouth, he looked pointedly at Radek. "Coffee, soon. Need the caffeine. Haul sweet Czech ass."

"To where? You have me locked in here like Rapunzel, and I do not have hair long enough to get me to the level below through your window."

"Yeah, but if I let you out, how do I know you’ll come back?"

Radek groaned and considered banging his head against the wall, but his still tender bruise made him discard that idea. "Then how is it you expect me to ‘haul sweet Czech ass’ to get your coffee?"

Ducking back into the bathroom to rinse and spit, Rodney sauntered out of the bathroom just as the door slid open for Radek. "There, but you’d better come back. Remember what happened when Miko tried to give me green tea instead of coffee?"

"Rodney, all of Atlantis recalls that day," Radek sighed. "Poor Miko did not recover for a week." He glanced at the open door then down at his nude body. "And perhaps you would close that so that I could get dressed?"

"Oh, I don’t know, you’d make quite the scene walking into the mess hall wearing that," Rodney grinned but nonetheless closed the door and lounged back onto the bed to watch the show.

" _Blaznit_ ," Radek muttered to himself as he quickly got dressed. "And do not complain to me if Dr. Beckett sees me and takes me to the infirmary again!"

"He’d better not try; I’d arrange a jailbreak. Busybody voodoo medicine man," Rodney grumbled under his breath. "That man’s last kiss was either from his mother or from a haddock!"

"And you know this how?" Radek asked, bemused, before walking back over to Rodney. "And so you do not think that is the case about yourself..." He pulled the taller man down into a lingering kiss.

"Mmmm," Rodney’s hands snagged Radek’s hips and held him firm when he tried to move away. Deepening the kiss he scoured his lover’s mouth thoroughly, remapping surfaces he’d only recently explored. At last, his caffeine-starved body crying out for sustenance, Rodney reluctantly let Radek go, his eyes fluttering open with a soft sigh. "Okay, that was better than chocolate and almost as good as coffee."

"Hrmmm, I will take that as a compliment," Radek murmured, patting Rodney on the ass. "Now go and relax while I get your precious coffee, and then we can speak of what is to come next."

"Sex. Lots and lots of hot, grey-matter-burning, toe-curling sex," Rodney suggested rather vehemently. "Followed by sleeping, eating and more sex, not necessarily in that order. Oh and you owe me a game of _real_ chess too."

"Yes, Rodney, whatever you want, Rodney," Radek laughed, pulling back to head for the door which opened as he got near it.

"So if I were to want, say, you in loin cloth feeding me grapes, I’d get it? Cool!"

"You truly do not want me to return, do you?"

"You’re the one who said whatever I want," Rodney pouted up at Radek. "It’s really unkind to say something like that and then deny my request."

"Yes, Rodney, is all my fault; I will try to be more precise in the future." Radek avoided rolling his eyes as he spoke and quickly ducked through the open door to get away before Rodney could respond.

Rodney chuckled softly as he watched Radek scurry away. This was turning out far better than he had imagined. He’d always been attracted to intellect, and now he found himself with one of the most attractive people on Atlantis. And he had forty hours, give or take, of down time to convince Radek just why a relationship with him would be a very good idea.

Glancing around the room and realizing that they never did get that second mattress to make the beds bigger, Rodney did some quick calculations and figured he’d have enough time to grab a spare, rearrange the room and create a ‘mood’ if he hustled his ass and Radek stopped to talk to friends and colleagues along the way, as he was often known to do. Getting out of bed, he quickly dressed and headed out the door, intent on completing his self-appointed mission before Radek got back with goodies.

~*~*~

"You are lucky I have returned," Radek commented when he finally made it back to the room, backing through the doorway while pulling a cart behind him. "All is Dr. Zelenka, what do we do with this, and Dr. Zelenka, where can I find Dr. McKay? The staff is in repair mode now, though personally I believe all should be resting as well."

Hearing no response, he paused, cocking his head. "Did you not hear me, Rodney?" He turned then and blinked at the changes wrought to the formerly Spartan room. "I see I was not the only one on an errand. This looks very nice. Very sensual."

"Hey, I’m not a complete chowder head when it comes to things like romance, despite what others may say about me," Rodney retorted as he came out of the bathroom after checking his appearance one last time. The shirt was made out of Egyptian cotton and he normally wore it under a suit or a dress sweater, but today he’d paired it with the single pair of jeans he’d brought with him. He’d forgone shaving to look a little scruffy on purpose, but he was sure he’d cleaned up fairly well. It was definitely a look no one on Atlantis had seen him sport as he was usually a sweatshirts, Henleys or t-shirts kinda guy, usually paired up with chinos or khakis. But for Radek he was willing to go out on a limb and show off his ass.

"I have to admit to having a little help, though. Teyla insisted that I needed the pillows and the blanket as well as the candles. Women are suckers for the whole romance thing, be they from the Milky Way or from the Pegasus galaxy."

Radek chuckled, his eyebrows going up as he studied Rodney’s dress. "Is their strength, and I was not aware that I should have dressed for this date, or I would have gone by my room when I went to get the coffee."

"You didn’t, I mean _I_ wanted to, awh hell, Radek, I was trying to be romantic and set the mood and all that," Rodney’s hands rotated as he tried to speak with his hands in order to explain himself better. It wasn’t working; he was simply getting more and more flustered. "Okay, so maybe I was acting like a knob."

"Is that door knob or stereo knob?" Radek asked while stepping forward to catch Rodney’s hands in his. "And I did not say I did not like it. You look most delicious."

"It’s just jeans and a dress shirt," Rodney tried to shrug it off, "nothing fancy. I just thought it might be an idea to see me in something other than a uniform; I mean it’s been a while since I got to dress down. I wouldn’t want you to forget I can be a civilian as well as a scientist."

"Is hard to do considering you keep shoving your intellect down my throat." Radek grinned as he said that. "But, having seen you naked, I believe I can make the distinction."

Rodney scowled slightly at the slight criticism and then brightened as the part of him in question supplied a far too easy answer. "I’m fairly certain it wasn’t my intellect that was shoved down your throat, Radek. It was the wrong head."

Radek rolled his eyes and groaned. " _Mah Buh_ , I purposefully chose to subject myself to this. I am insane."

"And here I thought you simply had incredibly good taste," Rodney snarked, using their still entwined hands to tug Radek forward. "And just for the record, there’s a reason why I told Elizabeth that if anything had happened to me she should name you chief scientist. You’re the only one I trust to do it right and to keep people here safe, Radek. That’s the truth. It’s also the reason I didn’t want you to go up to the satellite. I needed to know Atlantis was safe and in good hands. I made the right choice."

"You want to keep everyone from harm. In truth, Rodney, you are a softie, but I will keep this knowledge to myself for now until you are being insufferable, and then, the whole team will know." Radek smirked and pulled Rodney in for a kiss to halt the tirade he knew would be coming.

Rodney allowed himself to be persuaded to return the kiss, which he did enthusiastically, hands moving to wrap around Radek’s waist in a loose hug. It didn’t stop him from harrumphing when the kiss finally broke though. He _was_ Dr. Snark after all. "So, we done with all this touchy-feely, squishy stuff now?"

"You tell me," Radek chuckled, reaching up to push his glasses back up his nose. "You were the one to introduce the subject."

"Semantics," Rodney replied with a wave of his hand. "I’m more interested in coffee, food and hot sex; the last two can be out of order, but coffee always comes first."

"Yes, Rodney." Radek reached for the insulated carafe and poured them both mugs of the rich brew. "Here is your coffee as ordered; now drink so that we may get on to the other two items on our agenda."

Rodney sighed and breathed deeply of the aroma of boiling water infused with roasted Arabica beans. Was there anything better in any galaxy? "Oooh, come to daddy," he purred as he took the cup from Radek. He was practically salivating at the thought of _freshly ground_ coffee and not that hideous freeze dried stuff he’d been existing on these last few months, and even those stocks had been getting terrifyingly low.

Radek watched Rodney’s practically orgasmic expression with amusement. "Would you perhaps care for me to leave the two of you alone?"

"What?" Rodney looked up, trying to figure out who had entered while he was in his coffee-induced happy place. "Oh, very funny. Ha ha. You slay me, Radek. Really," Rodney replied dryly. "Just shut up and drink your coffee before I hog the pot."

Radek did just that, refilling his mug for good measure before he spoke. "Rodney McKay being greedy, it is shocking."

"And the problem with this would be?" Rodney replied with a quirked eyebrow. "It seems to me that you only stand to benefit from my greed. Especially considering how greedy I am for sex in all its infinite variety of pleasures."

"So if I were to tell you that to have sex, you must put down your coffee, your reaction would be..."

Rodney eyed Radek, his cup and his lover again. Smirking, he raised his mug and drained it dry before setting it haphazardly on whatever surface he encountered first. "There is always a third option, Zippy; haven’t you learned that yet?" he chuckled as he started towards the other man.

"Pretending you do not remember my name no longer works," Radek smiled, leaning against the table as he drank the rest of his own coffee.

"Maybe I wasn’t referring to your name, Radek," Rodney smirked, leaning into the other man’s personal space. "Maybe I was referring to the brevity of your response time, so to speak."

"Perhaps that was because I was imagining Major Sheppard and Dr. Weir in a compromising position on her desk," Radek answered, smiling blandly.

"Well, Elizabeth is hot..." Rodney began and then clued in. "You need mental stimulation to help you get off when you’re with me?" he growled, eyes narrowed. "And you imagine my best friend? Radek, I may have to hurt you for that."

It was all Radek could do not to laugh at Rodney’s expression. "If you do not like it, I would suggest you not impugn my stamina when you are trying to get into my pants once again."

"Yeah, well the image of you getting off because of imagining my friend and our expedition head going at it is going to give me nightmares, let alone make it so that there’s something worth getting in _my_ pants," Rodney pouted, looking quite put out.

"And for the record, I’ve seen him naked. I’m more impressive."

Radek snickered. "So you admit you have looked."

"Hey, we’ve gone through decontamination together; of course I’ve seen it. I’ve seen Ford and Teyla too, that woman is... wow. Of course I’d never even think of it because she could kick my ass without breaking a sweat but..." Rodney replied immediately.

"You are a fortunate man; I will admit this."

"Eh, you’ve seen one stacked woman, you’ve seen them all. And besides, she’s not blonde. I have a definite thing for blondes," Rodney husked, running a hand through Radek’s flyaway hair.

"Hrmmm, I could appreciate this fixation of yours." Radek leaned into the touch.

"Notice me not complaining with your appreciation," Rodney laughed, flexing his fingers slightly to give Radek’s scalp a slight massage.

"So, about that whole sex thing, just want to reiterate that’s not all I want with you. Relationship-type things are good too. Snuggling, necking, making out in utility closets and sneaking into Elizabeth’s office to do it on her desk are all acceptable too."

"I have the feeling it will be more arguing and then having explosive make-up sex, but the others are good too," Radek murmured, sliding his hands to Rodney’s ass to pull him in for a lingering kiss.

"I want to make love to you, Radek. Will you let me?" he asked seriously, watching his lover carefully.

Radek smiled and nodded, rubbing his thumb over Rodney’s lower lip. "I have the feeling we will both enjoy this immensely and also that we are much too dressed to do this properly."

"See, I knew I was falling for more than just a pretty face," Rodney laughed, kissing Radek exuberantly before he began tugging his lover towards the nest of blankets he’d prepared while Zelenka had been out foraging for food and coffee.

Nimble fingers moved quickly to relieve Radek of his jacket and then started to work on his pants while Radek tugged his shirt off. "Mmm, now that’s a sight to write home about," he sighed, admiring the other man.

"I would hope you would not do such a thing though," Radek laughed, working on the buttons to Rodney’s shirt and pushing it off his shoulders, leaning in to kiss the now bare flesh.

"Nah, I’ll just take pictures and keep them with me for all those long, lonely nights off world," Rodney replied immediately as he let the shirt fall to the floor. Groaning softly, he brought his hands up to knead Radek’s shoulders, exerting slight pressure on them in the hopes that his lover would get the idea and get horizontal. "As for the writing, well, I might write you naughty notes or something, but your virtue is safe from my family, I promise."

"You will terrify your teammates with the noises you make," Radek chuckled, walking backwards to drop onto the bed though he managed to undo Rodney’s jeans before doing so.

"And the problem with this would be?" Rodney groaned as Radek’s hand brushed over his rapidly hardening cock. "I’m all for promoting fear of myself amongst my teammates, minions and underlings. It amuses me, and I rather enjoy my god-like status," he continued, teasing, as he stepped out of his jeans and tumbled onto the bed on top of Radek.

Holding the Czech’s head still with his hands, Rodney spent long moments staring into those wonderful blue eyes. "One of these days I’m going to get you to speak to me in Czech the entire time we make love. I swear I could come just from listening to you. God, I love your voice," he whispered just before he ducked his head to latch onto Radek’s throat and began to suck.

"That we will save for another time, yes?" Radek shuddered at the sharp pleasure-pain and slid his legs up and around Rodney’s hips, rocking their bodies together as he ran his hands over the other man’s back, kneading the surprisingly strong muscles beneath his agile fingers.

"Oh God, Radek!" Rodney moaned, his hand fumbling around to try and find the condoms and lube he’d set near the mattresses in the hopes that maybe one of them would actually be able to fuck the other one tonight. Fingers connected with the hard yet squishy surface of the lubricant tube and skittered to the side... eureka, condoms too!

Grabbing them, Rodney sat back on his haunches and with shaking fingers quickly ripped the foil packet open, taking out the thin latex and smoothing it onto his erection. The lube was cold, so he let it sit in the palm of his hand until it reached body temperature and then dribbled it onto Radek’s stomach.

Bringing up one of the Czech’s legs to rest on a shoulder, Rodney swirled his fingers through the viscous puddle and then carefully inserted one into Radek’s body, wanting to stretch his lover carefully and gently.

Radek gasped and arched upward, his body tightening down around Rodney’s finger as he sucked in a breath before relaxing and opening his eyes to smile at Rodney. Noticing the condom, however, he paused, and the smile changed to a grin. "Is there something about your past you are not telling me of? We were all cleared by the medical department before coming to Atlantis, so unless you picked something up from one of your off-world excursions, I do not think there is a need for prophylactics."

Rodney had the good grace to blush. "Sorry, force of habit," he mumbled. "And no, nothing to tell. The closest I got was Alina, and to be perfectly honest, having a bunch of guns and crossbows pointed at me was more than enough to kill any interest in the lady," he admitted with a rueful grin. "I don’t think I’ve ever had sex without one. I guess that means you get my cherry, Radek," Rodney joked even as he stripped the latex off his erection.

"That would be so if there was less talking and more doing, McKay," Radek growled, grabbing the lube and slicking his fingers then wrapping them around Rodney’s erection.

"Fuck. Fuck me!" Rodney gasped, going completely still as he fought back the urge to come on the spot. "Killing me here, Radek, really," he moaned as he began to pant softly. It took a considerable amount of willpower, but he managed to rope his hormones in and finally pried his eyes open again to stare hungrily at his lover. "Need you _now_ , no more fucking around," he demanded.

In answer, Radek let go of Rodney’s cock and settled back against the mattress, grasping his knees and pulling them back to his chest, opening himself for the other man.

"God al-fucking-mighty, that is so _hot_ ," Rodney murmured, taking time to appreciate the sight in front of him before moving forward and, with a shaking hand, guiding himself into Radek. Tight, oh god so incredibly tight, and hot and... "Radek, oh god, yes!"

Radek sucked in a hissing breath as he was stretched open and Rodney pressed inward. "So," he finally was able to gasp, "I have made Rodney McKay believe in God. This is a good thing."

"Well, don’t let this go to your head, but I’d have to say this was definitely bordering on a religious experience for me right now," Rodney groaned, bending down to capture Radek’s mouth even as he began to pull out, almost in his entirety, and then thrust back in.

Radek nodded, his eyes narrowed to pale blue slits as he arched up under Rodney, his fingers tangled in the short dark hair as they rocked together, the pleasure mounting between them.

Rodney shifted so that all his weight was resting on one hand and his knees; the other snaked between their bodies to wrap around Radek’s cock. Stroking him in time to his thrusts, Rodney set about blowing Radek’s mind in such a way that there was no doubt just how desperately Rodney wanted the clever Czech in his life.

Radek’s English skills vanished along with most forms of rational thought, and he bucked upward, riding out the pleasure that flared through him and exploded into a conflagration that burned away everything in its path.

"That’s it," Rodney crooned as he watched Radek’s face for each and every reaction. "C’mon, give it to me, baby; give me everything you have."

"I am not your baby," Radek hissed, the word cutting through his bliss, but then Rodney thrust deep within him, stroking over his prostate, and he didn’t care because he was coming, body, arms and legs clenched tightly around the other man.

If Rodney could have laughed, he would have at Radek’s reaction. Fortunately for him, he was too busy trying not to come as Radek’s ass tightened impossibly around his cock while the other man found his release. "Christ," he gasped, falling forward and resting his head against Radek’s. "Seriously killing me here, but what a way to go," he sighed, shifting slightly in order to capture Radek’s mouth with his own.

When the last of Radek’s contractions had eased off, Rodney breathed a sigh of relief then carefully slung the other man’s legs over his shoulders. Eyes darkening to the color of a storm at sea, Rodney smiled hungrily and began to slam into the smaller man as hard and as fast as he could, striving for his own orgasm.

Radek groaned, riding out the pounding, doing his best, even in his lethargic state, to bring Rodney off.

"Radek, god, Radek!" Rodney groaned, fingers clenching convulsively as he came inside Zelenka. Kissing the Czech wildly, Rodney collapsed onto Radek, barely catching the bulk of his weight with his elbows as he shuddered through the aftermath of his orgasm.

Radek sighed and shifted so that his legs slid down alongside Rodney’s and his arms loosely circled the other man’s waist. "This we shall do again," he murmured, "and soon."

"Yes. Definitely yes," Rodney agreed fervently, finding the energy to roll his lower body to the side and off of the man sprawled underneath him. Looking up from where his head was still pillowed on Radek’s chest, Rodney grinned. "Next time you get to pick who’s on top since I was kind of insistent this time," he offered magnanimously.

"Did I look like this bothered me?" Radek asked, amused. "But yes, I would like to get a taste of the great ass McKay." He pressed his lips together, hiding his smile, and waited for Rodney’s squawking.

"Did you just call me an ass?" Rodney growled, glaring down at Radek and then realized he’d been set up. "I’d say the description is more apropos of you right now, Zippy. Damn good thing I happen to be quite enamored of said posterior or you might find yourself out on your ear for a crack like that."

"May I remind you that I have a concussion and that you’ve already kicked me out of your bed once today?"

"I didn’t realize you were there!" Rodney protested yet again. "Besides I’m used to sleeping alone. And another thing, we’re on the floor, so you’ve got nowhere to fall to, and I swear, Zelenka, if you try to milk this, I’m so going to fry that sweet ass of yours!"

Radek chuckled and stretched out on the pillows, wincing when bruised parts of his anatomy came in contact with the floor when the cushions slid. "I am not the one who turns every paper cut into a fatal wound, am I?"

"It’s good to keep Carson on his toes. Besides, I’m a sucker for accents," Rodney admitted, a blush staining his face. "Hell, I used to get turned on just from you swearing at me. Why do you think I worked so hard at pissing you off?"

"This is why you pretended not to know my name?" Radek asked, amused.

"Actually no, I really couldn’t remember your name for about the first three months here. Well, I remembered Radek; I just couldn’t remember Zelenka. And besides, it helped to establish me as a cold-hearted bastard who didn’t give a rat’s ass about his people beyond how they performed. But listening to you spout off at me in Czech was definitely a side benefit," Rodney grinned. "I admit to recording some of it on my laptop and running a translation program. I had no idea you could actually get into some of the positions you told me to get into. I didn’t think it was physically possible."

Radek’s grin turned shark-like. "Would you care for me to show you how?"

"Are we going to make up a list of your suggestions and work down from the first one or are you just going to go about it randomly?" came the immediate reply. "But either way, damned straight I want you to demonstrate. I need empirical evidence, after all."

"I repeat, would you care for me to show you how?"

"Talk is cheap, Zelenka. Put up or shut up," Rodney smirked.

Radek looked at Rodney over the top of his glasses, then sat up and grasped Rodney’s leg, bending it back toward his ass.

"Okay... I’m hoping that there’s serious sex involved in this, not just the whole turning me into a pretzel thing," Rodney murmured as he let himself be positioned, relaxing into Radek’s hands.

"You seriously believe that we could have sex again this soon?" Radek asked, amused, as he let go of Rodney’s leg.

"Well, you’re the one who started this. I don’t recall setting a time limit to any demonstrations I might require. In fact, I much prefer taking a very, _very_ long time to get through all of the various suggestions you had," Rodney replied, scowling as he felt down his leg to check for bruising. "And watch it with the merchandise; I’m very delicate, you know."

Radek snorted. "Need I remind you that _I_ am the one with the concussion?"

"Considering you’ve only reminded me of this fact a dozen or so times in the past day, yes, I think you do need to remind me again," Rodney replied with a saccharine grin but belied his sarcasm by reaching up and kissing Radek’s temple. "So why don’t you try and go to sleep; it might make it feel better. I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, so we can take our time until you feel better."

"Actually, I would prefer something to eat as you have built up my appetite with all the recent exercise," Radek chuckled. "And, as the coffee is in a thermal container, it should still be warm as well."

Rodney quickly extricated himself from the tangle of limbs and bounced up, heedless of his nudity, heading for the food and carafe. "Stay right there; let me get it," he volunteered, snagging the tray of food and the coffee.

In short order he was back on their makeshift bed on the floor, the tray beside him and the drink just off to one side. As he spotted some grapes, Rodney’s mouth twisted into a smirk, and he picked them up, dangling them over Radek’s mouth. "Care for a bite?"

Radek glanced from the grapes to Rodney. "If I attempt to eat them and you pull them away, I will get back at you," he murmured before opening his mouth and tilting his head back, keeping one eye on Rodney.

Rodney’s grin became positively devious. "All right, since you’re so afraid I’ll do such a horrific thing, I’ll just have to feed you another way," the Canadian murmured, plucking one of the grapes off the bunch and placing it between his teeth. Bending down, Rodney pressed his lips against Radek’s and pushed the grape inside with his tongue before raising his head, a smug expression on his face. "There, see, you got your grape."

Radek chuckled as he ate the sweet bit of fruit. "Yes, I did. Perhaps I might have another? I am enjoying being treated as a sultan."

Rodney’s eyes narrowed in menace but then relaxed. "Just you wait until I come back wounded or shot or something horrible after one of my off-world missions, and then you’ll have to return the favor. And seeing as how I tend to get hurt more than you, I can live with this," he chuckled, this time selecting a bit of cheese to feed Radek.

Radek ate another grape, licking his lips to get the last of the juices from him. "Ahh, but then you are in Carson’s tender care, and I am in charge of the laboratory, so life is good."

"You’d leave me, your _lover_ , in the hands of that witch doctor wearing a kilt? All to get control of my lab? You’re a black widower, aren’t you?"

Radek chuckled and caught Rodney by the front of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. "And do you mind this?"

"Only if it kills me."

"This I promise you it will not do." Radek stroked a hand down Rodney’s chest, then took a grape from the stem and fed it to him.

"Hmm," Rodney hummed happily, swallowing the sweet fruit, "I can see why you liked this. Yeah, I could get used to this, being waited on by a cute, naked person," he grinned at Radek. And then uttered one word. "Babe."

Radek rolled his eyes and grumbled something in Czech, teasing Rodney with another grape before eating it himself.

"Hey, it could be worse," Rodney offered philosophically. "I could have called you pookie."

"In which case you would now be keeping company with your own right hand."

Rodney snickered but let it go, _reaching_ for the plate of sandwiches. This was the first time in a very long time that he’d felt this content with his life. Everything was just better with Radek as his lover as well as his friend, even the sniping. "So, what other nasty names have you called me over the last year, just so I have a quick and easy reference of what you’re saying for our first fight."

Radek snorted. "You are a smart man; I am sure you can locate the computer with a translation program again."

"Yeah, but I _really_ like it when you talk dirty to me," Rodney leered and then sniggered at the look of irritation that crossed Radek’s face. Kissing the Czech’s nose playfully, Rodney sat back and enjoyed the rest of his sandwich while playing footsie with his second in command.

_**Czech to English translations:** _

_Ano_ \- yes

 _Ach Buh, jA cinit ne domnivat se tato._ \- Oh God, I do not believe this.

 _Citlivy, citlivy_ \- Fine, fine

 _Tebe ar takovy neurc clen osel._ \- You are such an ass.

 _Ano, vyjma ja rano rozkosny._ \- Yes, but I am cute.

 _Ma Buh, clen urcity cesta aby citeni..._ \- My God, the way that feels.

 _Blaznit_ \- fool

 _Mah Buh_ \- My God


End file.
